6 Ways to Become More Authentic

Have you ever found yourself pretending to be someone you’re not? I know I have. Here are 6 ways to become more authentic in your everyday life.

Have you ever found yourself pretending to be someone you’re not?

I never thought I’d become one of those people. Growing up, I was pretty confident. I had a good group of friends, good grades, and was heavily involved in dance and theater. Of course, in theatre, I would put on a persona, but I never did in real life.

I wore overalls and two French braids to school and didn’t care if I looked a little out of the norm because I was comfortable in my skin and with who I was.

I’m also a deeply-spiritual person. Being a Christian is a big part of my identity. And every summer during my childhood and teenage years, I went to church camp. Sometimes more than one.

And while I attended them, I started to discover something interesting. People admired certain aspects of my personality.

And I liked the admiration.

Unfortunately, I liked it too much. I inflated those parts of my personality, especially during camp, becoming a bigger and bolder personality than who I really was. Like I said, before this, I had never cared one bit about what others thought… now suddenly, I did.

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My Journey to Become More Authentic

I’m not sure what caused that shift for me, but the point is, I inflated who I was because I craved the admiration.

Of course, I did all of this unaware. I think I just naturally melded to the situations at hand. But when it hit me that I was being something I wasn’t truly inside, it broke me.

Have you ever realized one day you were in a situation like that? Craving the approval or admiration of someone else so much that you turned inauthentic?

One compliment or look of respect isn’t enough. We need it over and over, so sometimes we change ourselves to get more. It’s a viscous cycle, sadly, and if we’re on it long enough, we really lose sight of who we are deep inside.

Thankfully, I slowly found a way to circle back to myself, but it’s been a long journey. Years. And if you find yourself in this situation, it might take you that long, too. Or you might bounce back right away. It all depends.

But in the process of circling back to myself, I’ve learned a few things I’d like to share with you about how to become more authentic and then how to maintain that way of life.

How to Become More Authentic

Tip #1: Rediscover who you are

Let’s face it. A whole book could be written on the topic of rediscovering who you are. It’s not possible to really understand the topic in depth in a blog post. But at the very least, I’ll fill you in on a few tactics I’ve used to (continually) rediscover who I am and become more authentic.

But first, I want to tell you where NOT to look:

• Job
• Family role
• Hobbies

Don’t get me wrong…these three components are hugely influential in our lives. But in the end, they should not define who we are.

Why? Because these things can change in a heartbeat.

Your job, your family roles, and your hobbies can be taken away from you. But what cannot be taken away is what I believe to be your God-designed soul. The fact that you were crafted in the image of God.

That’s pretty significant, and I believe He designed you with a purpose. That purpose may manifest itself through your job, your family roles, or your hobbies, but it is separate and apart from those things. If those things disappear, your purpose still exists.

I believe your purpose is derived from both your unique perspectives and your contribution to the world. It has less to do with “how” you contribute and more with “what”.

When you’re rediscovering who you are, you want to dig deep to find out what your perspectives are and what you contribute to the world–especially since you’ve spent some time being inauthentic (such as inflating your personality or altering at least some aspect of it).

It takes time to figure out who you are at the core. I wish I could tell you that it was an easy thing. But unfortunately, it’s not.

Try some of these tips to rediscover yourself and see if they help you become more authentic.

• Think back to a time when you felt like yourself and work to get back to that place.
• Define your true values
• Offer yourself grace as you learn – it won’t happen overnight

Tip #2: Accept who you are

Once you know who you are, you must believe that you hold value. Loving yourself isn’t selfish – it’s healthy. And it’s vital if you are going to accept who you are and find the courage and motivation to continually become more authentic in life.

You are worth more than a fake life, trust me. So believe in the person God made you to be.

Tip #3: Learn to be vulnerable

Have you heard the phrase, “Pride comes before the fall”? Pride can be detrimental to an authentic spirit. If you can learn to be vulnerable, accepting the times you might not please everyone, or might be wrong, then you’ll have a better chance on your journey to become more authentic. I know you can do it!

Tip #4: Become more self aware and recognize your pit falls

Where are the places (and what are the situations) in which you feel you need to put up a different persona or face?

My next question to you is to figure out why this is a pit fall for you and think about what would happen if you chose to be yourself instead.

Here are two ways to make it easier when facing your pit falls:

Build Your Why. If you can build and refine your “Why”… the reason you want to become more authentic… then that explanation is extra motivation for when you feel yourself slipping back into a persona or feeling like you need to hide who you are.

Make a Game Plan Ahead of Time. If you know you’ll be in a situation that will discourage you from being your true self, then map out your game plan ahead of time. What will you say or how will you act if a certain situation arises? Knowing your plan isn’t a foolproof way to become more authentic, but it certainly gives you another tool in your toolbox. It will prepare you and hopefully give you more courage to do what you know you need to do.

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Tip #5: Be courageous enough to be honest, open, and transparent

This harkens back to being vulnerable. You, as one of God’s children, have an enormous gift: your unique soul and person. No one else has that same gift. Don’t squander it. Become more authentic by living courageously, being honest, and becoming more open and transparent, rather than hiding who you are.

Tip #6: Find people to truly connect with

It’s hard to do this journey alone. Once you begin to become more authentic, you’ll realize it’s a continuous process. Working to refine yourself is easier if you have supportive people in your life. Not just to tell your stories and your struggles to, but for you to help them in their journeys as well. People with whom to laugh and share life. The daily mess. 🙂

Conclusion to 6 Ways to Become More Authentic

I know it’s easy to be afraid. But if you never step out, then you never will really live. Search the Scriptures and see what strikes you–dig deep, pray a lot, and become the person you were meant to be.

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What have I missed? What other ways are you learning to become more authentic in your life?

Share with me in the comments below.

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