NAVIGATING THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH CAN BE PAINFUL AND FULL OF GRIEF. HERE ARE A FEW TIPS FOR REACHING THE OTHER SIDE WITH GRACE AND RENEWED FAITH.
The valley of the shadow of death–that dark night where everything is turned upside down. Maybe it’s a phone call with devastating news. Or a confession from someone close to you. Perhaps it’s an illness, a natural disaster, a death, a divorce, a wayward child, or a number of any other instances.
Whatever the case may be, you find yourself standing–or, more accurately, collapsed in the fetal position–in the valley of the shadow of death.
Have you been there, yet? If you haven’t, you will. We all must take our turn walking through a dark season.
Regardless of what landed you there, the truth is that no amount of wishing or begging or pleading will erase what has happened. Now you must learn to move forward, step by step, through the valley to the green pastures beyond.
In other words, you must now learn to cope.
But how do you do that?
What is Grief, Really?
First, let’s talk about what grief really is. Grief is the natural and normal reaction to any significant loss. It is a process, not an event. And it is different for everyone. You may experience all sorts of emotions when you are grieving. You may feel sad, angry, confused, scared, or numb. You may even feel relieved or happy at times.
These feelings are all part of the cycle of grief. And it’s important to remember that you will cycle through these emotions several times as you learn to accept that this significant loss has happened.
Grief is not something that can be rushed or forced. It takes time, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The important thing is to give yourself the space and support you need to work through your grief in your own time, at your own pace.
How long does grief last? Well, there is no one answer to this question. Grief can last anywhere from a few weeks to many years. And the intensity of your grief will likely wax and wane over time. You may find that certain events or anniversaries trigger a wave of intense emotions. But with each passing year, the grief will likely become more manageable.
What is the Best Way to Deal with Grief? Navigating the Valley of the Shadow of Death
No matter what, grief is always difficult to deal with. You may feel lost and hopeless. So, during this time, it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Here are some tips on how to cope during grief and navigate the Valley of the Shadow of Death with grace.
Keep Your Sights on God
Walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death is so painful, and you can feel so lost. You’ll want a guide to see you through and help you navigate the pitfalls. That guide is God and His Word.
Whenever your sights are on God, everything becomes more centered. He knows how to help you through your grief, and you are much more likely to follow His lead if you are watching for His guidance.
One major way to do that is through prayer.
Prayer can help you stay connected to God and find comfort during this difficult time. Pray on your own and also with others, because it can be an important part of how you cope during grief.
God is always willing to meet you in your pain and begin the healing process with you. Then you can become fully restored.
Honor Your Feelings
You will likely feel many emotions when you go through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. And the best thing you can do is honor them by allowing yourself to feel.
Yes, the feelings are often very painful. They aren’t pleasant to experience. But bottling up your emotions or forcing yourself to move on too quickly will actually hinder the healing process in the end.
The truth is you can’t heal what you can’t feel.
Acknowledge how you are feeling, and try to let go of any guilt or shame that may be associated with these emotions. Remember that your grief is real, and it’s okay to feel sad or angry or scared.
Allow yourself to experience your grief in whatever way that feels natural for you. And take care of yourself during grief, both physically and mentally. Make healthy eating and exercise a priority, as well as getting enough rest and practicing relaxation techniques like prayer or yoga. It’s not selfish to fill your bucket, so that you can care for others, too.
As you implement these steps, you’ll be able to set your sadness and anger aside and move forward with your life. Intense emotions may hit you a few times a day for a while–just stop, feel the emotions and give them space to breathe, and then place them on the shelf and keep walking through that Valley. The green pastures are on the other side. Soon you will be there.
Remember That Your Identity is in Him
Remember that your identity comes from God and not from whatever landed you in the Valley of the Shadow of Death.
Hard times happen to all of us, and sometimes it’s so easy to blame ourselves. Of course, it’s good to take responsibility for anything you did do, but the problem is that we have a hard time forgiving ourselves for those things.
We start defining ourselves by our mistakes. But that isn’t the way God sees us.
To Him, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. That is where our identity comes from.
So, no matter what landed you in the Valley, no matter why you are grieving, hold your head high. Yes, the pain will still come and you’ll still have to deal with your pain. But with your identity firmly resting in who God made you to be, you are able to confidently move through the Valley without nearly the same amount of fear.
Find Your Community
When you find yourself in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, it’s so necessary to find your community.
Whether it’s a close friend or family member, a trained life coach, or a professional therapist, reach out to the people who can offer you comfort and understanding as you deal with grief.
Step Out On Faith
When things don’t make sense, you can feel frustrated, devastated, and confused. You may wonder where to go from here. Perhaps none of the directions seem to make sense. But when you step out on faith, even when the dots don’t connect, you are daring to move forward, and God will equip you as you trust Him.
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Conclusion to Navigating the Valley of the Shadow of Death
Walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death is never easy. It wouldn’t have such a name if it were a walk in the park instead.
And while it may be difficult to see how the Valley of the Shadow of Death can make the world a better place, try to focus on the positive aspects and how God can use you to impact others in the future, once you have walked through this.
If you can adopt this mindset, it can help you find some measure of peace during your grief journey. And when you take steps like the ones I’ve listed above, you will be well on your way to the Green Pastures beyond the Valley–all with God at your side.
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